Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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