why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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