Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Randomize