I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
did i walk over a car last night?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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