wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
