i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize