So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
