well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
