well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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