I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
