Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
