Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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