Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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