3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
