Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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