did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
