Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
