Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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