I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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