This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
