my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She's the barista slut.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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