I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
