then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
