I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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