No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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