the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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