Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
