Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
