I like to think it a success when the cops are called
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
