She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
