Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
