yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
