I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
