So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
