And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
