Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
