North Korea, Best Korea!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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