He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
