I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
