Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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