I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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