Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
