just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
