those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
