Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
