Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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