I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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