I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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