I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
