Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
