i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
