Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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