***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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