I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
