Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize