Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
