Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Small penises have feelings too.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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