the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
40s are totally the cure
i think we sleep fucked last night...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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