Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
