the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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