I wish my penis had an off switch
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
