i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize