the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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