Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
