Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize