when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
