You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
