I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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