Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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