I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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