the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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